Tuesday, August 14, 2012

On Running and Blogging

This was me yesterday, and tomorrow and from now on!
So I went running yesterday. I'm not thrilled that I ran. I'm not thrilled that I'm going to continue to run. But I don't have to be thrilled I just have to do it. But after last night's first training session I'm not sure how I'm going to continue, thrilled, not thrilled or any other emotion not withstanding.

My running attempt must look a whole heck of a lot like one of my mood swings. First I'm completely even-keeled and then the longer things stress me out, the more emotional I get. I get sad and want to stop, and then I get angry then I get sad again, then I get super angry and then angry and sad that any of this is happening, and then I really have to pee for no good reason, and then I want to double over and scream when the cramps set in.

All of that happened during my run last night. And how long did this mood swing last? 1.6 miles. Or roughly 15 minutes according to my husband. Yes, I'm able to pack in that much of a mood swing in so short a time frame! Why do you ask?

Why would someone who doesn't run and hasn't had much luck with the endeavor like ever suddenly attempt it? That's a very good question! But I think I have a good answer. I finally found a good reason for doing it. A couple of good reasons actually, at least I hope its a good reason. I'm going to attempt to run a 5k, or possibly a couple.

I guess I need to do something more tangible than what I'm doing for George Mark House. Yes, a couple of tweets a week and forcing my twitter friends to tweet about George Mark House for space on my blog is something at least, but it doesn't feel like enough. It never feels like enough. When it comes to keeping the memories of our children alive, their legacies alive, it never does.

I've been thinking a lot about that lately, and about a lot of other things too. If my running attempts read like a weird moodswing, then my blog posts must read like somebody with bi-polar disorder. I go from cheerfully tweeting pop-culture nonsense to having a full on cryfest regarding grieving for my son. I'm thinking I need to create a dedicated blog to all things special needs/my son/grief and coping/highlighting charities like George Mark and the like. I haven't decided how to go about doing it, but I know it needs to get done. But what's the right choice? Should I create a tumblr instead of a blog? How do I go about setting up a new twitter account for this new site, and junk like that? I have questions. I need guidance!

With both running and blogging, I'm finding I'll probably need as much support/advice as I can get. Feel free to give both in the comments. 

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