Bullied Girls, Ears That Stick Out, and Plastic Surgery

So I read this this morning. I also read this (I read this one first).  I wish I had something witty and articulate to say but the best I might be able to do is rantingly all over the place but insightful. When an issue is too personal and also when I haven't chosen a "side" on the issue, my ability to be articulate (which is fleeting at best anyhow) goes out the window.

And the articles, this girl, this whole issue is personal for me. It's not personal in the since that I know this girl, but I do 'know' her because I was her. Every description about the girl, from the too big ears that stuck out, to the relentless taunts I lived. If you were to compare a picture of this girl to me at that same exact age, our ears would've been a match. I had those ears that stuck out way too far and were too big for my head. If you were to compare our experiences at that age, they would've been eerily similar. I was called 'dumbo' on a daily basis, along with Dopey, the stupidest dwarf from Snow White, and I was called a donkey and about a thousand other 'clever' taunts the kids in my school could come up with. Sometimes, when I wore my hair up, some jerks at my school would run past me, flicking or thumping my ears. I was a very sensitive kid and it would make me cry all the time. Everything described about that girl's bullying  I experienced for myself.

I should also mention that 14 was the exact age I first looked into the same surgery she had, otoplasty. I should also mention that because it was elective we would've had to pay for the surgery out of pocket and because it was what I considered at the time to be way too expensive, I opted out at the time. In that way I'm a bit different from the girl in the article. I put up with the taunts and the evilness through high school and it did get better.

Based on the picture, do I think she was beautiful just the way she was in the before shot? Yes. Do I think having her nose and chin done at the same time was excessive and unnecessary? Yes. Am I a little grossed out that this non-profit helped get these elective surgeries? Yes, but they sound like they help with a bunch of other facial deformities and given my history with clefts I won't badmouth them.

But I'm not going to preach that she shouldn't have had the operation, the way the Jezebel article tries to say. I won't that she should've stuck it out.  Because I did have the surgery later in life. I was in my early twenties, when I had the income to pay for the procedure myself and also the good sense to know that a) the surgery wasn't a game changer, self-confidence and security wise and b) just because I was changing this one thing did not give me reason to go ahead and change anything and everything else. And I'm glad I had the surgery. I'm glad I made the change, because making that change gave me the ability to forget about my ears. The amount of mental energy and time I wasted, especially when I was a teenager thinking about my ears, making decisions solely based upon my insecurities around my ears, the bad hair choices I made in an effort to hide my ears became a total non-issue after I had the surgery. And can I just say perms are out of the kettle and into the fire as far as hair choices based on ear insecurities is concerned? Yes the big spiral perm I sported between sophomore and junior year did a good job of hiding my ears but but that afro-perm had its own orbit! So not helpful!

My Hair in the 90's.

Ahem. See what I mean about rantingly insightful? Although finding out I had hair that was similar to that new contestant on Project Runway maybe stretching the defintion of insightful, but whatever.

What was I saying again? My point is a) I don't think she would've grown into those ears as the article suggests because I sure as hell didn't b)I am happy for her that she did get it done because now she doesn't have to spend the time I did worrying about her ears, but c) I am a little miffed that she pulled a 'while you're doing that, we might as well go the whole nine yards' thing and got her chin and nose done at the same time. That smacks a leeeeeetle on that side of the line of body dysmorphic disorder and that is definitely a slippery slope but d) I'm glad she is getting counseling so that she keeps her self-image in check.

I think what I'm saying is that we shouldn't be too hard on these sort of decisions and make it a capital c Case about the state of teenagers' self image and Oh My God the Horror that she should feel good about herself now. Yes, now that her ears are taken care of, she's going to move on to feeling insecure about other things. But she's a teenager. That's her birthright.

The Headline in that Jezebel article just pisses me off a tad. "Is heartbreakingly thrilled". You know what. She's allowed to be. I was too when my ears were revealed. She's allowed! Now leave her alone and let her be a teenager.

I put the rant in rantingly insightful don't I?

The All Star Problem

So I’m watching Project Runway All Stars the other night, and was pretty much underwhelmed by their line up of “All Stars” for a variety of reasons. One, it felt as if some of the contestants brought back on this season weren’t brought back based on the merits of their design skills or craftsmanship but on their infamy. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of talented designers that should’ve won their respective seasons or placed higher than they did (Mondo, Anthony, here’s looking at you!) But, and I’m sorry about this, there’s no way Sweet P, just based on the merits of her work on her season would’ve ever been picked as an all star, and Alyssa…. Good Lawd Child No! When Heidi Klum herself said you made a model look like she was pooping fabric, you’re aesthetic isn’t where it should be, no? She was picked pretty much on the basis of the fact that she was loopy and made for good trashy television. Now, I don’t know that for sure, and haven’t read any insider dirt to back that up, but writing’s on the wall, ain’t it?

But Project Runway isn’t the only one guilty of stunt-casting from previous seasons. Let’s take a minute to talk about America’s Next Top Model All Stars shall we? As a whole, the season was jam packed with stunt-casted past contestants that were … “very polarizing” is the polite term. Perhaps the better term is the bitchiest bitches to have ever bitched in Bitchville? Bianca, Alexandra, Angelea for crying out Freaking loud. Angelea(who if the internet is to be believed, maybe WON the season of the ANTM all stars but she couldn’t keep her big mouth closed, so they ended up re-taping the finale and giving it to Lisa. Like Really?!?! Allison deserved that title damn it! I’m not bitter. What?), based on her modeling skills in her season, was not an All Star, she was a loud mouth who made an impression, and they make for good trashy TV, but unfortunately, not compelling TV.

And I mean, I get why its casted like that. First of all, the ones who are more character than talent are a brand unto themselves. People, whether we want to admit it to ourselves or not, are drawn into basket cases, the loud mouths, the wierdos, the bitches (that has been made plainly obvious by the myriad Real Housewives spin offs. Ha!), because they are easy to box up and digest for our viewing pleasure. We know we’re getting kooky when Alyssa comes on the screen and spits on fabric. We know we’re getting bitchy when Bianca waves her hand in the air and does her patented ‘Oh no you di’in’t’ look for the camera. We want our reality TV populated with the jerks, guidos, bitches, and weirdos also because of how easy it is to judge. My favorite thing on this season of ANTM was snarking on Shannon and Alexandra, because it was easy to be dismissive. The harder thing is to look at the characters for more than what gets shown to us. My husband, God bless him, actually liked Alexandra and rooted for her solely because of how vilified she was by the show and the audience, me included. It’s easy to type cast, and it’s easy to portray certain personality traits when you’re only given an hour of time each week to get to know these people.

I also get the allure of All-Star editions versus casting complete unknowns again. Each person you bring back is their own brand, has their own fan-base or has people eager to watch the season just to see a few familiar faces again. It reawakens a plodding series when it needs a new life. I get all that. But sometimes, it’s still not very compelling.

Yet, there’s still plenty of talent that has been on previous seasons that needs to be given a second chance, that if done correctly, could be very compelling. I encourage you to consider that these shows should do a “first-offs” or ‘rejects’ edition, of people who, either by circumstance, or perhaps they didn’t bring their best selves to the game that day, got kicked off too early before we ever got a chance to know them, really find out what they are about. The best example I have is from Project Runway. The first episode out of the gate was the redo of the grocery store challenge and this one guy made a deranged raincoat/dress out of a shower curtain and some picnic table clothes or some such and you could tell he just didn’t bring his all that day. I’d assume if given the chance, he’d love to redeem himself. I’d love to see him try.

I’m sure a lot of ‘first offs’ would be plenty hungry at another shot to prove themselves. Also, I’m pretty sure there would still be more than your fair share of kooks too. But ask yourselves this, what would you rather see, a bunch of hungry competitors, hoping, praying for another shot to prove themselves or a bunch of bloated ‘all-stars’ stretching out their fifteen minutes. Also, I love the underdog aspect of this idea. Imagine if somebody dumped at the beginning of Project Runway’s season came back to win an entire season? How good would that be? That’s some good redemptive arc right there. AmIright? You know I’m right.