Movie Review: This is the End

You know how sometimes you'll find a thing, a movie, a TV show, book, game whatever that sometimes hit most if not all of your pleasure points but then you look up and you realize that has piece of pop-culture ephemera only hit your pleasure points and no one else's? Yeah, that's the dilemma I'm having with This is the End. The second Seth showed Jay his name spelled out in joints I knew I was in.

I think it was precisely that moment in which my husband was out. This is nothing new. I'm use to him bailing on stuff that suits me just fine. If I had a nickel for all the times we've come down on different sides of a movie, I'd have a mansion by now.

But this one was more derisive somehow. Maybe it was Danny McBride. He usually throws a monkey wrench in everything. Or maybe the pot humor and dick jokes just got way old way fast, which I have to admit, definitely did. Although, if I can work in "Hey, I like my dick tent!" into casual conversation, than I'm doing something right, I'd say.

I think part of the division was the hubbie didn't get all the in jokes and fun-poking these guys were doing at their own expense, or didn't really care. But since that's my bread and butter, I ate it up with a spoon. The second a coked-out Micheal Cera got impaled by a street lamp, I was in. I was even more in watching David Krumholtz fall down the hellhole. The middle part did get tedious in its infighting and stagnation and I was getting close to wanting to bale. But then suddenly, things kicked it into high gear and *spoiler alert* we find out Channing Tatum is playing gimp to Danny McBride's Zed and I absolutely lose it. Whatever else you want to say about this movie, that, right there will be its enduring legacy.

So yeah, it's mindless and stupid, but it's my kind of mindless and stupid. My husband can have his Hellbenders and his Matrix. I'm perfectly content watching this kind of drivel and laughing at it, thank you very much. A very solid B

Movie Review: Hellbenders

So, do you remember how just last week how I said Clifton Collins Jr. had me by the short and curlies? Well, thanks to Hellbenders, he's not only got me by them, but he's started braiding them, coloring them every color of the rainbow and he named them. For the record, the longest one's is name is Larry. It's a long story.

I didn't really know what I was getting into with this movie. I think I remember watching the trailer for it last year and thinking 'Clancy Brown as clergy cussing, that could be right up my ally'. I didn't know or remember my booooiiii Collins was in it until the opening credits, which may have exceeded my somewhat low expectations by about a bajillion, so you might not get a fair and unbiased movie review is what I'm saying. It could devolve into "Eeeee Clifton Collins Jr. with the collar wearing and the cussing and the scenery chewing, Eeeeee!" But I'll try my best to make this movie review a little bit more intelligible.

The premise of the story is unlike anything I've ever heard of for starters. It involves an order of hellbound priests who commit sins in order to take the demons they exorcise back to hell in their bodies if need be. They cuss and booze and sleep around and commit hedonistic acts to ensure they can expel the demons back to hell. This ragtag group is led by the ever awesome Clancy Brown as the lead priest Angus who calls everyone a c*ck sucker and does dastardly deeds to make sure his vessel is ready to go to hell. He's rounded out by the likes of Clifton Collins Jr., as the conflicted smart-ass Lawrence, Andre Royo, as the record keeper who ensures the order is hell ready, Robyn Rikoon as the fierce, defiant Elizabeth, with Macon Blair and Dan Fogler (Ugh) rounding out the cast. The ragtag band of priests starts out with a new problem. A new Pope has to be named, which means a new archbishop will be overseeing them and probably won't like how they run things, what with stripper cakes being brought into the parish, not mention the onslaught of drugs and sex they submit themselves too. On top of all that, there's a new demon billed as the God-slayer who's threatening to overtake the earth.

The movie is billed as a horror/comedy which is not an easy tight rope to walk, and as a straight up comedy, well it didn't exactly fail but it didn't all out work either. It had one or two pieces that fully (hello archbishob walking into a priest doing some unspeakable acts which may or may not have involved gerbils) worked for me, but I think overall, the movie thought the comedy was only to be found in the idea of priests sinning and that's all it went for, which was mirthful, but not outright funny. Overall, I found the most hilarious part was that because they were still priests, they were forced to use public transportation. Watching a bunch of dour priests face battle while sitting on a bus was hilarious to me for whatever reason, but that was about as far as it went.

As a horror, it most definitely did work. The possession of the Character Elizabeth was so haywire and brilliant because it was less about the gore and more about the psychological baiting. The whole scene builds this incredible demon character up from nothing and sets the scene by feeding off of Elizabeth's insecurities and beliefs or lack thereof. It's incredible to watch and nerve wracking and builds to the very end.
 
The scene at the very beginning, with Clancy Brown and Collins facing off against a possessed rabbi was the one place where I felt both the laughs and freakouts came very naturally and set the tone for the rest of the movie. It's fraught and yet it gave me one of my funniest, laugh out loud moments. Clancy is getting the demon to possess him instead of the rabbi and is about to cut his own throat as the possession takes place and its nerve-wracking to watch, and then suddenly, Collins comes into the scene stage right, smacking the demon upside the head with a bible and yells "King James Motherf*#&#" and I absolutely lose it. In the cage fight between scenery-chewing one-liners that Collins has uttered, this one and "Found a loophole bitch, I oughta be a lawyer!" are duking it our for supremacy, and I have no idea who wins. Repeated viewings of both movies will have to determine the victor. (So much for this devolving into a Collins fan girl post. heh.)

*Spoiler Alert* I will say, that the ending was pretty transparent and I still find it laughable that the movie thought our end times would come about by a giant fiery hell vagina getting fingered as it were, but these are mostly minor quibbles for a movie that builds its mythology, its horror and its laughs very well by the end. And also, for a movie with Dan Fogler in it, it used him very well, which is to say, very, very sparingly  and for laughs. (I'm sorry, but he still owes me for Ball of Fury and I have not come collecting yet).

So overall, its worth the two hours and the rental fee we paid for it. B+

Movie Review: Greetings from Tim Buckley

So yesterday was my birthday (thanks for all the birthday wishes ya'll) and because I'd already celebrated it with my husband over the weekend by going to an actual theater for once to see real live performance (Gilbert and Sullivan's Iolanthe, for those of you curious, and instead of creating another review of that performance, I'll just say it was an entertaining piece of cotton candy, fluffy and fun and forgettable once it was over) we decided not to go out on my actual birthday and instead stayed in and just for funsies, he let me pick the movie. I usually get the privilege revoked on account of some of my more horrible movie choices I've made in the past but since it was my birthday, he relented and let me pick.

So I picked Greetings from Tim Buckley. Now before I get started, let me just say I know only the sparsest bits of information on both singer songwriters featured in the movie. I never followed either of them musically and I only knew that Tim had a son named Jeff and they were both into music and their lives were both cut way too short.

After watching Greetings from Tim Buckley, I knew about the same as I did when I started. The movie gave me no insights into either of them and told only the thinnest of stories in the most meandering ways. It still had its own beauty (that beautiful scene of Imogen Poots singing) and was a perfect platform for the music in which it lovingly featured, but it didn't do much else but leave me with a lot of questions that only a scouring of Jeff Buckley's Wikipedia page actually helped answer.

I was worried that maybe not being a Jeff Buckley enthusiast, I didn't get or understand the movie, but then I remembered the review from My New Plaid Pants (a beautiful, well written review, as @JAMNPP reviews often are and one of the reasons he's pop culture co-pilot) and I realized that it also left Jeff Buckley fans as out in the cold as it left me, which at least left me validated but confused in regards to what the film maker was trying to accomplish. The way the two stories of father and son were inter-weaved was distracting and pointless. And really, I think the story should have been about Jeff and how he made a peace with his father or revisited his father's work and life and less about his father's douche-baggery. I get that there's probably a lot more to his father's story as well and I am interested, but separately not together, especially if it accomplishes nothing.

Overall, a beautiful movie going nowhere. B-

Movie Review: Wolverine

I actually got to see another movie in an actual movie theater, and this time I didn’t have to go to the bathroom three times during it! (Sorry Iron Man 3).

Wolverine is not the movie I wanted to see Saturday night. I had my heart set on Pacific Rim, but really there was no way I was going to make it the late show  (Sorry Charlie Hunnam’s shirtless body, but I have an internal curfew. I probably would’ve fallen asleep anyway) so we chose The Wolverine as a sort of compromise. And for the most part, I enjoyed myself.

It was a roller coaster ride, which is what I want in my action movies. I could argue that the that the ending was telegraphed from the very beginning, which it was, and it was a pretty predictable ending at that, but the journey getting there was fun, mostly because of the characters and the performances that got delivered.

Because most of the cast was pretty awesome. Yes, we could talk about Hugh Jackman, but we know what we’re going to get from him in terms of performance. That’s why I bought my ticket. But it was the side performances that really shined. I mean, every time I see Will Yun Lee in anything, I continue to enjoy him even more, especially when he’s an unbelievable bastard. Come on, he outclassed most everybody in Red Dawn (which yes, with Josh Peck in the cast, wasn’t hard to do), and *spoiler alert* he delivered in what I knew was going to be a pretty one-note role in this movie too. He was sometimes the most interesting part in this, especially when it became clear what fate had in store for him.

But even better than him were some of the female performances in this. Mariko started out a thankless role. Yes please, try to kill yourself in your second scene in the movie and then run away to your family home that most people will assume you’ve gone in your fourth scene. That’s how you win friends and influence people, really. But then somehow she grew on me. She didn’t shrink away from conflict the way I thought she might. On the whole, I really enjoyed her.

The absolute stand out for me was Rila Fukushima as Yukio. She was simultaneously vulnerable yet fierce in ways I didn’t think were possible. She was teasing out all this emotion and hinting at all these depths within the character one moment and then having one of the most badass Samauri sword battles in closed quarters I’d ever seen the next. That takes talent. And I hope Hollywood takes notice and puts her in more things, or somebody has the god damned audacity to make Yukio the movie, because based on her performance alone, I’d plunk down hard earned money to see that.

But for all the performances that I did enjoy there were just as many that annoyed me to no end. I love Famke Janssen and have sense Love and Sex for crying out loud and I also loved her as Jean Grey, but her reprisal of the role was thoroughly unnecessary. It added nothing to the story itself and came off as very hackneyed and cloying. If you’re going to have Famke Janssen in a movie, make her useful, instead of just a passing fancy in The Wolverine’s head, fercryingoutloud.

The worst offender though was the role of Viper. I wrote on twitter the other day that Uma Thurman called and she wanted her performance and wardrobe as Poison Ivy back. And I stick by that. Viper was just a thin impersonation of Poison Ivy and one that wasn’t very enjoyable at that. *Spoiler Alert again* Thank god Yukio cut her head off, I was getting tired of her and if she showed up in another movie I was going to have to give up on the whole X-Men franchise altogether.

But on the whole it really did work, despite my bitching. It was well-paced, the action was fun, there were ninjas, and swords, and yakuza, three things I enjoy immensely in my movies. So, what I’m trying to say is, you could do worse. B

Movie Reviews: Warm Bodies

Not all the time, but sometimes a movie comes along that somehow makes a perfect connection with a person and its Movie kismet. It is the thing that people talk about when they talk about fate. Well I think I met my soul mate in movie form and that movie is Warm Bodies.

I’m not huge into the Zombie genre really. I’ve tried to like it in fits in starts but it’s never been my bag. Other than Romero, I haven’t been into it as a whole. That’s not to say there haven’t been some bright spots here and there *cough Shaun of the Dead I love you cough*, but I’ve never really gotten hooked into the genre. So I’m not sure what I was expecting when I saw Warm Bodies. All I knew is that it felt like a new take on the genre and I was interesting to see what would happen.

What I didn’t expect is how well it blended older, much older ideas into the genre. The Romeo and Juliet notes this movie hit were exactly the right ones. I mean, the characters’ names are R and Julia for crying out loud. And that balcony scene almost caused a fit of hysterics in me for reasons I can’t quite explain. The idea of a zombie courting a girl in that old-fashioned way just makes me smile every time I think about it.

And everybody was great in this movie. Nicholas Hoult was doing yeoman’s work as R, the zombie who was finding his humanity again, which could not have been easy. And finally, miracle of all miracles, I like Rob Corddry in something. I didn’t think I’d ever see the day, but he was strangely perfect in this. But the biggest stand out of all for me was surprisingly Analeigh Tipton. Perhaps I’m still angry she didn’t win her season of ANTM and I think it is fitting revenge when she’s in things and she’s excellent. Or perhaps she was just this perfect quirky palate cleanser to the whole thing. If you want to jump aboard the Analeigh Tipton needs more work train, I’ll be your conductor.

I’m so utterly pleased with this movie that I’ve seen it twice and I hope it is on cable enough that I can watch it about a gazillion more times. Love. Through and through, it’s an A.

Beautiful Creatures Movie Review

There are some movies I’m never going to talk the husband into so if I’m ever going to watch them, it will have to be on my own. The time in which to take in a movie by myself has dwindled from slim to none and slim took a bus out of town the second my daughter became an official toddler. But recently I made time to watch Beautiful Creatures.

Let me start this review by saying that a movie like Beautiful Creatures is fodder for someone like me. It has all the makings of a perfect little guilty pleasure. YA adult paranormal fiction? Check. Based on a beloved book series? Check. Likeable, interesting leads? Check. A great cast of side characters including a Academy Awards winner Jeremy Irons and all around bad ass Emma Thompson? Check and Check.

But the sum of its parts didn’t quite add up for me as much as I hoped it would. And I can’t quite figure out why. I can’t pinpoint if it was some of the characterization or if it was the story itself, but the emotional heft wasn’t there, as much as I was hoping it would be. I don’t think it was the fault of the two leads. I think Alden Ehrenreich was absolutely perfect as Ethan and I think the character of Ethan was just the right mix of teenaged ennui and literary hero mash-ups. There were a couple of times where I caught Alice Englert trying too hard, but she still did a really passable job in the role and the chemistry between the two was palpable. Is it wrong that I could watch hours of the two of them making googly eyes and whispering to each other?

But when the focus moves off of them, the film loses its momentum. And I’m really not sure who is to blame. Thompson and her over the top accent? Emmy Rossum and her not even played for laughs Siren routine? Margo Martindale? (Kidding. I could never blame Margo Martindale for anything.)  Thomas Mann? You know what, after Project X I hold him responsible for damn near everything. Why did Fun Size suck? Thomas Mann. Why did Craig try to kill himself in It’s Kind of a Funny Story? Thomas Mann. Global Warming? Thomas Mann.  But he was the least of this movie's problems, I think.

I get the sense that the movie may have glazed over big chunks of exposition/plot from the book just to get where it was going. I’m not sure what those sections are, and I’m almost willing to break my one rule of book-to-movie adaptations (the rule is – never read the book after you’ve seen the movie) just to confirm that there was indeed something significant missing in translation.

It has some real, tremendous moments. Come for the meet cute, stay for teenage romance, leave when Emmy Rossum starts slutting it up. B-

Four Movie Reviews and a Funeral

I kid with this title, well with the latter, not with the former. I totally intend to review four movies, but there will be no funeral that I need attend or review, at least none that I know of for the present moment, knock on wood.

So yeah, I saw four movies this weekend and one of them didn’t involve OnDemand and actually involved my butt in a theatre seat for the first time in six months. I know, exciting. I’ma review them from my most favorite to my least.

Iron Man 3 – You know the broad strokes by now. I mean, the movie’s been out for awhile, and the internet doesn’t have a filter, so you likely have run into a movie review or two by now. I’ll spare you the longwinded review (especially since I no longer have a movie bladder and had a large diet coke so I had go to the bathroom twice and I’m missing big chunks of the movie…I know. Sorry for the overshare) and boil it down to brass tacks: 1) James Badge Dale is as awesome as advertised. 2) Even more awesome than him was Ben Kingsley and the bait and switch going on with his character. Freaking genius! 3) Even more awesome than THAT was Dale Dickey in the world’s tiniest/most awesome cameo. She deserved better than that bit part ya’ll. She rocked it, but still. She’s starting to stack up Beth Grant levels of admiration in me. She deserves all the parts ever. 4) And the most awesome of all? That Kid. Jesus that kid was freaking perfect in every way. I just wanted to pick him up, tuck him in my pocket and take him home. The back and forth with RDJ was so much fun. I could’ve used a whole m

ovie of that with fifteen more minutes of Dale Hickey. B+

Killing Them Softly – I talked the hubbie into this one mostly on the strength of My New Plaid Pants’ review, because he is my bell weather for all things movies/pop culture. And he was not wrong. I thoroughly enjoyed this one, because it was perfect showcase for all sorts of character actors, and a lot of them came out of nowhere. I mean Max Casella! Max 'Newsies' Casella! He had a perfect scene, but I was distracted trying to figure out who he was and it came to almost as violent as the kick in the ribs he delivered on poor Ray Liotta. But there was a lot of talking that didn't got anywhere, which I understand is part of the point, but it was distracting nonetheless. James Gandolfini's role seemed pointless and didn’t go anywhere. I could’ve used 30 more minutes of Brad Pitt and Richard Jenkins just talking in a car over his little pointless insertion into the movie. I understand that his presence was to flip things around, to be that one thread that never went anywhere, but you know what really would've flipped things around? Scoot McNairy shirtless, alot, for no reason. There, problem solved.  Also, Scoot McNairy has got to become a band name somehow. The Scoot McNairys? The McNairy Scoot? Scoot his McNairys? Okay, I know I’m reaching, but the band would be almost as cool as the guy himself.  B

Jack Reacher – I should’ve subtitled this post Richard Jenkins film festival, because this was the second movie this weekend I watched with him in it. And let me just state that Richard Jenkins is never the wrong answer. I almost always smile when he's on screen. But with that said, I liked this role the least of the two, not that it matters, because he was barely in it. Who was in it was Tom Cruise, in yet another installment of Tom Cruise the movie, which is not a bad way to spend two hours especially if those two hours also include Micheal Raymond-James (yum!), Jai Courtney (double yum! Although, with all the Die Hard jokes we were making, poor Jai can't win for losing), Rosamund Pike, a creepy Werner Herzog, and Robert Duvall at his craggiest, which for the record, is how I like my Robert Duvall. But the mystery, while resolved, just kind of stayed a mystery in that the motivation for the bad guy was never fully explained. It might just be me, but I needed more resolution than that. B-

Red Dawn – Jesus with this movie. I mean, Lord was this movie not good. It wasn’t horrible, and it did seem to have a sense of itself, what it was trying to be, but what it was trying to be was mediocre to begin with. And I can’t fault the actors, well I can’t fault most of them. Hemsworth tried and pretty much carried the movie the entire time. And I can never dislike Hutcherson in a role, even if that role and the movie he’s in is terrible (Cirque Du Freak, I’m looking at you), but he didn't even have a part to sink his teeth into. But Josh Peck! Gawd! And I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. I saw The Wackness and I liked it, I even liked him in it, fercryingoutloud which is not something I thought I could do in regards to the kid who played Robe (yes, I’ve seen Max Keeble's Big Move, multiple times, without kids. Shut up! I don’t need to explain my art to you Warren!). But he was so over-matched in just about every way in this movie as to make the whole thing laughable. And there were so many dead plot threads, they probably equaled the number of dead bodies they created in the movie. It was ridiculous. I could go on and on, about its many flaws, and definitely its implausibilities, but what’s the point? I’ll just say that I’ve never been happier to see Jeffrey Dean Morgan show up in a movie in my life. Now, what that says for the movie is up to interpretation. C-