So, I rarely talk about work here (well, I did make an exception), because I don't want it to have any ramifications at work, but I feel there is something work-related that bares saying. Whether or not you want to believe it, there is stall etiquitte, damn it. I expect you to follow said etiquitte because it is the decent thing to do.
The one rule that I have always believed in, which apparantly not many people actually practice, is that if a person is already in a stall, it is not appropriate to start or carry on a conversation with the person already in the stall, unless both stalls or full, in which case, the conversation should be of the "Are going to be in there long?" variety with a short answer, thus ending the stall conversation. I think trying to carry on a conversation with a coworker while the extricating fluids and/or solids is rude. May not be the norm, but it's a rule I live by. A few exceptions can be made, like complimenting a stall occupant with nice footwear, but even that can be invasive, and therefore should be avoided.
Under no circumstances should you start a conversation with a stall occupant about how badly you have to extricate your own fluids, how you are having problems with the plumbing at your house, and how you had to extricate fluids at 1:00 in the morning and WOKE UP YOUR HOUSEHOLD. In the process of a rather loud extrication of your own fluids at that exact moment. Gross! I didn't want to know that. Now I can't unknow that. I didn't want to be subjected to that conversation, but I couldn't remove myself from the conversation in a comfortable, non-rude manner, so I had to be held prisoner in the stall while you bored me and simultaneously revolted me with stories of your bladder's goings-on! You madam, have no stall manners. You are bumped back to stall etiquitte 101. Good day madam, I said good day!!!
Wish I was windsurfing:
The Bloody Munchkin.
P.s. Don't think I didn't notice that you didn't wash your hands. That's duelly noted. I'm bringing in handi-wipes next time.