You know that one martial arts character in like every action movie ever that enters some tournament all full of bravado and piss and vinegar only to be knocked out in the first round? That’s what I feel like right now. Actually, you know that movie Balls of Fury where the guy goes into his first tournament in years thinking it’ll be a piece of cake only to be thoroughly tromped by…. Patton Oswalt? Yeah, that’s where I’m at right now.
Well That Happened. I had high hopes, really I did, but maybe it was a crap shoot the way my husband said, or maybe I didn’t do enough to distinguish myself, or maybe the field was really stacked against me, but whatever the reason, my book didn’t get past the first round of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest.
I should probably be more upset, or God knows what my reaction should be. But I’m dealing with it better than I expected. And yes, before you even ask, I consider eating the last Thin Mints in a flurry dealing with things better than expected, because A) It wasn’t a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and b) I’m not crying my eyes out, which based on my penchant for drama is usually my normal reaction to this sort of rejection.
I could tell I wasn’t the only one dealing with my rejection though. My husband took me to lunch and we tried to make sense of the rejection together. I think, even though he knew it was a crapshoot, he wanted this for me as badly as I did.
I tried. I put myself and my book out there and I tried. And I’m going to keep trying. The thing is, I know my book is worthy of being published and that it should be. I’m incredibly proud of what I did and I will find a way to get it out there, period. I wrote the book as a way to cope and to deal with all of the hardships and heartache we were dealing with regarding Ukiah and in a way the book and the characters that I created have become my babies as well. And I know my baby got rejected yesterday, but I’ll just pick my chin back up and try again.
And honestly, based on the titles that were picked to go to the next round, maybe I’m happy I didn’t. I kevetched with my husband on some of the titles that did make it through. I mean “Time Sniffers” made it through and my title didn’t? Time Sniffers? This is an actual title of an actual book that someone actually wrote? I don’t know where to begin.And that title wasn't even the worst offender. Don't get me started.
I don’t know where to go next, because I’m really flying blind here. I don’t know whether to start looking for literary agents again, or to enter another contest , or take a class on getting published, but rest assured, this is not the end to the story, it is just the beginning.