Monday, April 16, 2007

Dear Unsightly Chin Hair;

Stop it. It's not funny. I mean seriously. Quit it. From now to eternity. Just stop it. Yes, I realize somewhere along the way I often mused about how awesome my dad's salt and pepper facial hair was growing up, but just cause I offered up such a musing does not mean I want said facial hair on my face!!! I'm a girl damn it! I like girlie things! Sure I realize I have the same genetic predisposition as my father for John Wayne movies and eating foods that can best be considered as "experimental" ('Peanut Butter, Cheese and Mayonnaise sandwiches anyone?" "Sure Dad, I'll have one."). I enjoy those traits. I also inherited his traits of talking loudly, asking everyone to repeat what they were saying, and the tendency to rattle off inane anecdotes when the situation may or may not call for it. I don't enjoy those traits, but I put up with them, as do the people around me (*cough Fighting Nun cough*). The genetic trait I hate??? Having my father's more stubborn mustache hair suddenly appear on my chin and on my lip. Why??? Dear God Why?!?! If I wanted to go all mountain man I'd have done it by now. I don't need my follicles to help with something I do not want!

So chin hairs, I'm begging you. I'm pleading with you. Please for the love of God stop feeling all pin prickly, stop showing how black and stick-outy you are in comparison to the rest of my face and please, please, please stop growing entirely. Your presence in my life is starting to freak me out.

Peace Out;



Laura Zera said...

Ah, the joys of growing old. I'm right there with you, sister. I just ranted on Twitter yesterday over my preponderance of eyebrow hair. My most-used muscles are the ones that hold my tweezers. Sad, isn't it?

The Bloody Munchkin said...

The number of tweezers that I go through because I keep moving them around and losing them just to deal with the unsightly chin hair situation is through the roof, It's nuts. i'm glad you feel my pain.