Tuesday, March 28, 2006
So, apparantly, Christopher "Needs more Cowbell" Walken has decided to make a movie about competitive ping pong, ahem table tennis. I haven't been this happy since I was convinced he might be president in 2008. (I still have my Walken for President button ready to go if you want me to campaign for you Walken. Seriously, call me. I had these awesome little daydreams in which Willem Defoe was his Vice President, and Scary Blue Velvet era Dennis Hopper was his secretary of defense. It was a strange world full of True Romance references and Spider-man posters in Lincoln's bedroom, but it was awesome). When I found out it wasn't true, well, I haven't been that depressed since I actually sat through New Rose Hotel. Twice. But I still have him posted up in my cubicle along with my two other dark horse Presidential candidates, General Zod and Invader Zim. Sure, they want to enslave us, but at least they are honest about it.
But this movie. Will. Be. Awesome. If, and this is a big if, the Correct Walken shows up. What do I mean by "Correct Walken"? Well, let me elaborate. To my mind, there are two Walkens. There is the utterly entertaining and fun, song and dance Walken, a la that Fatboy Slim video where he dances and floats and is generally awesome. The "Needs more cowbell" Walken is equally entertaining. The Walken that does not need more air time is the Suicide Kings Walken, the Batman Returns Walken, the Hickey Walken. That Walken still gives me the creeps. Just, blech. I'm shuddering just thinking about it.
Looking at his c.v. though, there's a whole slew of Walkens I didn't know, or had forgotten existed. The awesome 80's Walken, the period piece Walken, which Wha???, the what the hell are you doing? Walken. But that's besides the point, the point is, the funny Walken better show up and this movie better involve no fewer than 23 crotch shots, or I'm resending my services as your campaign coordinator. That's all I'm saying.