Tuesday, February 20, 2007


So I'm not sure if I mentioned this but for Valentines day, amongst the many wonderful odds and ends Fighting Nun gave me, he managed to procur Sneakers on DVD (with the Willow Special Edition on DVD. Eeeeeeeee!!!! Needless to say, Fighting Nun scored major points for this). I absolutely love this movie. Love. I love this movie so much, I can even put up with The Busfield. That's how much I love this movie. But during my first viewing in about half a decade, I came upon a revelation. Actually, I came upon several revelations, including but not limited to:

  • Effing Donal Logue is a professor specializing in code breaking? Really? I mean really??? Donal Logue? The same guy who played a douche in Blade was a professor? I have no idea how to compute this information.

  • That is absolutely the wrong mustache for The Busfield to be sporting.

  • On the subject of bad tonsorial and facial trends, Ben Kingsley should never EVER EVER sport a ponytail like that EVER again.

  • The number of places they show and or name drop in the bay area is astronomical. Placing bridges by how they sound? The building that Playtronics was housed in being right off the 84, excuse me, 84 (because god forbid I make the NorCal, SoCal gaff again)? Because I didn't live in the bay area back then, I didn't get all that back then, but man do I appreciate it now. Love.

  • River Phoenix was such a hottie (O.k. That's not a revelation. That I knew. But come on. The hair that goes up to the moon when he took off the baseball cap? The "Hey, that's not easy what I just did!". The dancing. Swoon. Sniff.)

But the big revelation? The biggest revelation of them all? Why hasn't somebody greenlit a project in which Sidney Poitier, James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman have starring roles together? I'm serious. I mean that would be THE trifecta of powerhouse actors. I'm watching that scene where Sidney Poitier goes through a list of places he wants to go on vacation with his wife and the word "Tahiti" gets stuck in Sidney's teeth and he just chews on it and James Earl Jones just watches him chew with varying levels of irritation and Robert Redford's just standing there with a shit-eating grin on his face and I thought to myself: "Self, the only way this scene could've possibly been any better was if Morgan Freeman was somehow involved." And that's how I stumbled upon the epiphany that the most awesomest thing ever would be if the three of them were in a movie together. I don't care what it is, it could be a movie about a city dump, something involving gout, a movie involving angry spiders or snails. I don't effing care what the hell it is but somebody better make me a movie involving Sidney Poitier, James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman now. Right now! Hurry before James Earl Jones dies or Morgan Freeman voices March of the Penguins 2: Electric Boogaloo and Sidney Poitier mistakeningly signs on for "Look who's coming to Dinner Now". Somebody get it done! I don't care what the effects of having three scenery chewers of their caliber sharing the screen together might have. It could rend the very fabric of space and time. I realize that. But it would be... Awesome!!!!!! Awesome I tell you. Hey, some movie exec somewhere, are you listening to me?!?!?! I've just come up with a project that is all but fail proof for getting an a little Gold Man! I demand, somebody better pony up and supply. Fail-proof I tell you!!! Fail! Proof!!!

No comments: