For the first time in about three years I’m not dreading
Mother’s Day. In fact I’m kind of buoyant about the day, probably because I
have so much to celebrate. I have beautiful 7 month old daughter, a husband who
loves me, and although I have complaints (all small and tedious) they all fall away because I am so
happy in this life.
A far cry from two years ago around this time, huh? The
First Mother’s day I had to endure after Ukiah’s death was something else wasn’t
it? My scars were so new back then, so fresh and aching from my son’s loss. If
there’s anything I could go back and change about that day, it would be my
answer to the bagel guy. He asked if I was a mother and because Ukiah was gone
and technically I no longer had anything to quote/unquote “Mother” any more, I
said no. I should’ve said yes. Just because my child was no longer there doesn’t
mean I’m still not his mother, or that my mothering instincts, my ability to
give motherly love is no longer there.
Just because my child was gone should not have kept me from
stating I was a Mother, because I am a mother to all children who need love,
especially to those who need extra love and that is never going to change.
I try to go to Yoga class once a week. Every week my teacher
asks us to come up with an intention for our Yoga practice. My intention is
always the same, that my love, my wonderful motherly love that I have in spades
finds its way to child who needs it. I always picture the Children’s Hospital
NICU when I think this, all the tiny premie babies struggling to maintain their
breath, beautiful babies having to endure prodding and poking and all manner of
challenges just live and I send them my love. I think about George Mark House
and all manner of special needs children who might be in their halls and I send
them my love, because I have it to give.
We all have it to give, stores of motherly, fatherly,
grandmotherly, grandfatherly love. Even if you aren’t a mother, father,
grandmother, grandfather yet, you do have the ability to tap unknown depths of
love and compassion you never knew you had. And you should look at those
limitless stores of love you have within you and do something with it. It doesn’t
have to be profound and life-changing. Even the simplest acts of love and
compassion can do something incredible.
And I guess that’s the challenge I’d like to offer this
Mother’s Day. Yes we should all tell our mothers that we love and appreciate
them, but we as mothers should also do something with those stores of love we
usually reserve for our own children. Send it out into the universe, either
silently or with direct action. Acknowledge that that love you have for your
own child is so vast and beautiful and amazing that you can give it out freely,
especially to children that need it.
Unfortunately we’ve become overly possessive about love, but
its not a possession so much as an element, and just like the elements of
earth, wind, water, and fire being for all people and beings, love can be for
all people, beings, and things.
Tell something you love it today, a bush you encounter on
your walk, the hills and mountains that may be part of your every day scenery,
one of your child’s students who may be going through a tough time at school,
somebody who might be acting mean because they are having a tough day and feel the need to act out. Tell
them you love them unreservedly. Motherly love is the freest, purest, most
abundant version of love available. This Mother’s Day, instead of making the
day about receiving love for who we are as mothers, we should give that
Motherly Love as freely as we possibly can to as many as we possibly can.
Volunteer somewhere for the day, make a donation (To George Mark House perhaps? Or to Indies Unite for Joshua?) tell everyone you love them, even
people you don’t know. Dig into those vast depths of love and send out as far
as it can go. You’ll be surprised how fast it can be restored.
5 comments:
great post , honey.
I was confused by Mother's day this year, I'd forgotten about it and of course, sent out my card late. My mother won't get it till AFTER Mother's day, but I know she won't mind. I'll definitely call her on the day.
Suffice it to say, you have a huge capacity to give , and your daughter is very very lucky to have you as her mother.
xoxox
eden
I just got my mother's day gifts out today as well, so you aren't the only late one.
And thanks for the compliment but it's very obvious that you have a huge capacity to give wholly of yourself. You've given blood sweat and tear for #IndiesUnite4Joshua. That's proof enough.
Another inspiring post! Well said! I wish you a very loving Mother's Day weekend!
Thanks Sharky ;)
Hard to believe it's already a year later.
Happy Mother's Day, sweetheart. May it continue to get better and better,
eden
xoxox
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