Adventures at the DMV

I had to go to the DMV this morning to get my driver's license  renewed. The following conversation took place afterward.

Fighting Nun: Hold on, you're back home already?
Bloody Munchkin: Hey nobody's more surprised than me that I'm not still at the DMV.
FN: How'd you manage that one?
BM: All I can say is setting up that appointment like a month ago worked like gang busters.
FB: So they issued you a new license?
BM: Well I have a temporary one. The new one will be mailed to me in like three weeks.
FN: So you'll finally have a new driver's license with a photo on it where you don't look stoned or drunk or homeless,  or a combination of all three like you did in your last one?
BM: I wouldn't got that far. I saw the proof and I can't rule any of those out definatively.
FN: Now we talked about this. You had rules this time. No t-shirt and jeans, you had to commit to actually doing your hair this time.
BM: Oh no, I did all of that, I put make-up on even.
FN (Sound of a gasp on the other end of the line): You did?
BM: I did. But I don't think even that could've saved the picture.
FN: You didn't Pterodactyl it did you?
BM: No, for once. But I did that other thing that I do where I'm holding the smile for too long and it goes from pretty to constipated.
FN: That's not good.
BM: No it's not. All I can really say to defend myself is that its like the opening credits of Freaks and Geeks, you know where Sam Weir is waiting for the damn flash with his smile and then his face falls because he's waited too long and then he's got no choice but to hand out crappy 9th grade photos of himself?

FN: Oooookay. Well, at least you're home.
BM: Yeah, thanks for that.