Monday, August 05, 2013

Random conversations sparked by the 100 All-Time greatest issue of EW: Part 1

There are certain rules that remain true in all situations but none more important than this: If you ever want to get Fighting Nun's Irish up in any given situation, hand him a 'definitive list of something'. He will become filled with the steamiest hot air and will have to argue said list until every avenue of said list's wrongness has been explored and every point has been thoroughly riddled with enough holes as to make it completely implausible. I'd forgotten this rule until just recently, when I went rifling through this issue (yes, I know I'm like four or five issues behind. I'm perpetually four or five issues behind. That is my cross to bare. Shut up.)

The following random conversations that have transpired simply because this issue was at the top of the reading pile in the bathroom (sorry, TMI, but it maybe helpful for scene setting. Just sayin').

Fighting Nun, looking at the 10 greatest family movies of all time list: Toy Story is number 2? I mean it was good, but I don't think it was #2 worthy. Bambi at #1 I get, Thumper, his mom died. I can get behind that. But Toy Story. Hold on The Sound of Music is #3? What? How?

Bloody Munchkin: You know, I've never seen The Sound of Music.

Fighting Nun: What? What kind of hippie communist wierdo did I marry? You've never seen The Sound of Music? Doe a deer a female deer. You never knew where that came from?

Bloody Munchkin: I knew where it came from. Doesn't mean I've sat through it all the way through. Pop culture has given me the Cliff's Notes on that.

Fighting Nun: But the hill twirling and the Von Tramp children. You need to see The Sound of Music. I mean, I thoroughly dislike that movie, but you still have to see it.

Bloody Munchkin: Never mind that, we need to figure out how Fox and the Hound didn't make that list.

Fighting Nun: I never saw Fox and the Hound.

Bloody Munchkin: What? Who's the hippie communist now?

Fighting Nun: Fox and the Hound isn't on this list, so that makes your point moot. Also, what the hell is the Red Balloon. New rule. If people like me haven't seen it, it shouldn't be on this list. Red Ballon should be stricken from this list.

Bloody Munchkin: I'll call EW right away.

Fighting Nun: And while you're at it, have them explain to me how Old Yeller didn't make the cut but some bullshit like National Velvet did. Also one I haven't seen.

Bloody Munchkin: Okay, I agree with you on The Red Balloon, but I draw the line at National Velvet. Elizabeth Taylor and a horse trying to fulfill their dreams. That shit was awesome and life affirming and heartwarming and perfect.

 Fighting Nun: Fine, but at the very least you have to agree that Mary Poppins deserved that tenth spot and Spirited Away should be stricken from the list completely.

Bloody Munchkin: Critics have come down hard on the Poppins in the intervening years as being too weird and schticky and just because you stopped watching Anime after Dragon Ball Z doesn't mean there isn't anime made with some sort of merit in the intervening years.

Fighting Nun: Ok, but Shrek.

Bloody Munchkin: Oh no, I get you. No Shrek. I agree.

And that folks, is just the first conversation of many this issue has sparked. I'm sure you're eagerly anticipating other installments. You're welcome.

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