Thursday, May 30, 2013

Four Movie Reviews and a Funeral

I kid with this title, well with the latter, not with the former. I totally intend to review four movies, but there will be no funeral that I need attend or review, at least none that I know of for the present moment, knock on wood.

So yeah, I saw four movies this weekend and one of them didn’t involve OnDemand and actually involved my butt in a theatre seat for the first time in six months. I know, exciting. I’ma review them from my most favorite to my least.

Iron Man 3 – You know the broad strokes by now. I mean, the movie’s been out for awhile, and the internet doesn’t have a filter, so you likely have run into a movie review or two by now. I’ll spare you the longwinded review (especially since I no longer have a movie bladder and had a large diet coke so I had go to the bathroom twice and I’m missing big chunks of the movie…I know. Sorry for the overshare) and boil it down to brass tacks: 1) James Badge Dale is as awesome as advertised. 2) Even more awesome than him was Ben Kingsley and the bait and switch going on with his character. Freaking genius! 3) Even more awesome than THAT was Dale Dickey in the world’s tiniest/most awesome cameo. She deserved better than that bit part ya’ll. She rocked it, but still. She’s starting to stack up Beth Grant levels of admiration in me. She deserves all the parts ever. 4) And the most awesome of all? That Kid. Jesus that kid was freaking perfect in every way. I just wanted to pick him up, tuck him in my pocket and take him home. The back and forth with RDJ was so much fun. I could’ve used a whole m
ovie of that with fifteen more minutes of Dale Hickey. B+

Killing Them Softly – I talked the hubbie into this one mostly on the strength of My New Plaid Pants’ review, because he is my bell weather for all things movies/pop culture. And he was not wrong. I thoroughly enjoyed this one, because it was perfect showcase for all sorts of character actors, and a lot of them came out of nowhere. I mean Max Casella! Max 'Newsies' Casella! He had a perfect scene, but I was distracted trying to figure out who he was and it came to almost as violent as the kick in the ribs he delivered on poor Ray Liotta. But there was a lot of talking that didn't got anywhere, which I understand is part of the point, but it was distracting nonetheless. James Gandolfini's role seemed pointless and didn’t go anywhere. I could’ve used 30 more minutes of Brad Pitt and Richard Jenkins just talking in a car over his little pointless insertion into the movie. I understand that his presence was to flip things around, to be that one thread that never went anywhere, but you know what really would've flipped things around? Scoot McNairy shirtless, alot, for no reason. There, problem solved.  Also, Scoot McNairy has got to become a band name somehow. The Scoot McNairys? The McNairy Scoot? Scoot his McNairys? Okay, I know I’m reaching, but the band would be almost as cool as the guy himself.  B

Jack Reacher – I should’ve subtitled this post Richard Jenkins film festival, because this was the second movie this weekend I watched with him in it. And let me just state that Richard Jenkins is never the wrong answer. I almost always smile when he's on screen. But with that said, I liked this role the least of the two, not that it matters, because he was barely in it. Who was in it was Tom Cruise, in yet another installment of Tom Cruise the movie, which is not a bad way to spend two hours especially if those two hours also include Micheal Raymond-James (yum!), Jai Courtney (double yum! Although, with all the Die Hard jokes we were making, poor Jai can't win for losing), Rosamund Pike, a creepy Werner Herzog, and Robert Duvall at his craggiest, which for the record, is how I like my Robert Duvall. But the mystery, while resolved, just kind of stayed a mystery in that the motivation for the bad guy was never fully explained. It might just be me, but I needed more resolution than that. B-

Red Dawn – Jesus with this movie. I mean, Lord was this movie not good. It wasn’t horrible, and it did seem to have a sense of itself, what it was trying to be, but what it was trying to be was mediocre to begin with. And I can’t fault the actors, well I can’t fault most of them. Hemsworth tried and pretty much carried the movie the entire time. And I can never dislike Hutcherson in a role, even if that role and the movie he’s in is terrible (Cirque Du Freak, I’m looking at you), but he didn't even have a part to sink his teeth into. But Josh Peck! Gawd! And I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. I saw The Wackness and I liked it, I even liked him in it, fercryingoutloud which is not something I thought I could do in regards to the kid who played Robe (yes, I’ve seen Max Keeble's Big Move, multiple times, without kids. Shut up! I don’t need to explain my art to you Warren!). But he was so over-matched in just about every way in this movie as to make the whole thing laughable. And there were so many dead plot threads, they probably equaled the number of dead bodies they created in the movie. It was ridiculous. I could go on and on, about its many flaws, and definitely its implausibilities, but what’s the point? I’ll just say that I’ve never been happier to see Jeffrey Dean Morgan show up in a movie in my life. Now, what that says for the movie is up to interpretation. C-

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