Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Analyzing The Strokes
Thanks to the cover of the new SPIN issue, Fighting Nun and I had the following conversation last night;
Bloody Munchkin (ME): Dude, I know we're about to have dinner and all, and I really don't wanna effect our appetites, but what the HELL is with Fabrizio's mustache?
Fighting Nun: I have no idea.
BM: I mean seriously. It's like the worst parts of the 70's pornstache and the Tom Selleck Magnum PI stache combined. Not a good look. Drew Barrymoore was going out with that?
FN: Really? Ew gross, she could have at least gone out with the decent looking one in the group. What is her problem?
BM: Whatever it is, it is the same problem she had when she married Tom Green for crying out loud. And also, are we looking at the same cover? Because I'm not sure there really is a decent looking one in the group.
FN: Well, I mean I'm a dude so I'm not qualified to make a statement like this, but the lead dude?
FN: Yeah, he's at least decent looking, better up her ally than pornstache guy.
BM: Not in that plaid suit, but yeah, I get what you're saying. He's the least scary of the bunch, not that they are scary, they are just not normal looking, or something.
FN: What is with the guy in the scarf? Hey buddy, lay off the heroine.
BM: Yeah, what is with that? His cheekbones are totally sucked in. Newsflash to that dude: Don't suck in your cheeks like a fish when the camera flashes.
FN: It's not just that he has no cheekbones, he literally doesn't have an ounce of fat on him. No heroine needles, o.k. dude, and eat a sandwhich, or a fat burger.
BM: He can't the one in the middle, with the self-satisfied shit-eating grin is eating all his food.
FN: Hee. I can see the gaunt one saying 'dude, I'm coming down now. Hand me a sandwich.
BM: And the fat one is all 'I can't... BURP!' He's the stoner to the other dude's heroine addict."
FN: 'That's gotta be a fun tour bus. 'Dude, I have the munchies.'
BM: "Fine, go eat "Needles's" stash in the refrigerator." It's a symbiotic relationship really. Now I must bring up the other dude on the end.
FN: Dude, what is with that hat?
BM: My point exactly. That guy should be sat down and told that the look he's sporting, the "Lucas Haas as an Amish Kid in Witness is out. In fact it was never in. So loose the hat, and the vest."
FN: Maybe the fat one will eat it.
BM: Hee! He's already eaten the poor heroine addict dude's jacket. He's probably full.
FN: Don't we like this band?
FN: We're being pretty mean to them.
BM: Yes. But they brought it on themselves. Don't be sporting Thin Ron Jeremy-stache circa 1976 and expect that I won't bring the scrutiny is all I'm saying.
FN: Yeah, and eat before the photo shoot. Goes double for the heroine addict.