Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock Get Divorced

Dear Pamela;

Hee. Hee Hee. *Giggle* O.k. I can't hold it in anymore. Bwahahahahahahaaa. Man, If I had only created a Divorce pool with my friends I would've so been on the money on this one. I knew this marriage had the shelf life of a bunch of sea monkeys. Four Months. FOUR. FREAKING. MONTHS. That's it. I think there might be a box twinkies left on a display counter somewhere that is now officially older than your marriage.

What happened Pamela? Did he started comparing you to Jamie King again? Did you get tired of all the BPR's and cigeratte butts lieing around all over the place? Could you just not take anymore Lynard Skynard? Be honest, was there another stripper incident that hasn't made inot the news yet? Did you finally have enough of his greasy, limp hair? Where'd all that love you had for each other four months prior go? You went through the hassle of having three separate weddings, the leat you could've done was wait until the calander year ended. Sheesh.

I'm sorry Pamela. That was harsh. I didn't mean to kick you while you were down. I realize this letter is in poor taste. I apologize for being so sarcastic. I'm sure you've got a lot to deal with, between your imploding marriage, your coyly denying your involvement or noninvolvement in Borat, your coyly dodging Tommy Lee's horn-doggedness, and everything else and all. I really thought you two crazy kids could've made it work. I had so much hope and faith in your union. I mean you two really were a match in trailer-park heaven. I just couldn't believe it couldn't last. O.k. Now I have to apologize for being sarcastic again. Sorry.

Can you just do me a teensy leettle favor? Try not to get married for the rest of the year Mmmkay? That way maybe I can make a New Years Resolution not to bag on you anymore and I might be able to keep that resolution until maybe March. I'd appreciate it.

Tell Tommy Lee 'Sup for me;

The Bloody Munchkin.

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