Thursday, March 29, 2007

Snarking the Trailer: Grindhouse

Fighting Nun and I have had an ongoing argument about Grindhouse for a good two weeks now, that has pretty much devolved into the following:

"She has a machine gun! For a Leg! Awesome." (followed by large squeal of excitement)
"She has a machine gun. For a leg." (followed by large eye roll)
"But, but, but, Machine gun. Leg." (followed by a big pout).
"Machine gun. Leg." (followed by large head shake and another eye roll for effect.)

Where he sees schlocky and tacky I see outright awesomeness, which should pretty much tell you everything you need to know about our relationship.

First of all, I think I've made my feelings about Tarantino known over and over again. Secondly I really liked Sin City for a number of reasons so Robert Rodriguez gets a pass from me. Thirdly, I like the idea of two pulpy shorts put together into a long feature. Fourthly, Freddie Rodriguez doesn't get enough work so I'm all for seeing him in something like this. Fifthly, Rose McGowan (who we have lovingly named Jersey Chick for years) with a machine gun. For a leg. A MACHINE GUN. For a Leg. Don't you people get it?!?!?!

And lastly, and this may seem like an odd reason for wanting to watch a movie, but Josh Brolin's hair. I saw that mane in the trailer (which I sadly can't find a picture of), reminiscent of Kurt Russel's pseudo-mullet in Big Trouble in Little China and I wondered in amazement if it might have lines in the movie. Seriously, does that coif have its own SAG card? Josh's hair reminds me of that Robot Chicken bit where William Shatner goes to sleep and his hair comes off his head and turns out to be an international super spy and it gets a medal but then goes back home on top of William Shatner's head before his alarm goes off and then he wakes up and the medal falls off and The Shat's all "Why... does this... keep happening to me?" Yeah. Josh Brolin's hair is like that. It's most likely taken a life of its own, goes by the name of Fernando, and has opened a chain of ballroom dancing studios. I bet that hair even calls Diane Lane "Toots."

So yeah. I want to see Grindhouse. For the thrill, the gore, the machine gun leg, for the mane. Now if I can only convince Fighting Nun.

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