Friday, July 21, 2006

Happy Aloha Friday

So a few days ago, a very awesome co-worker answered a prayer I never knew I had. She brought me a gift, which in and of itself isn't the prayer. The gift, in her words is "Another toy to add your collection" . The toy in question is a very awesome hawaiian bobble man (for lack of a better description). This answered a prayer, filled a need I never knew I had. Well, I've known I've wanted, neigh, NEEDED a bobble head of some sort in my collection for quite sometime now. I've been hounding Fighting Nun for a Apolo Anton Ohno Bobblehead for quite some time, and let's not even talk about how forlorn and sad I get when I miss a Giants bobblehead day. I still whimper about not getting an Omar Visquel bobblehead, I mean cause seriously. How cool would that be? And then I could finally track down his version of Broadway, and anytime I needed inspiration, any time I needed to be cheered up just a little bit, I could play the song, have Omar's voice tell me ever so gently that "Bwoadway's dahk tooonight" and everything would be o.k., everything would be right again. But I don't have an Omar bobble head. I don't have any bobble heads, or anything that bobbles really.

Until now! Now I have a tattooed hawaiian man with what I'm choosing to believe is the Lou-Diamond-Phillips-As-Richie-Valenz-era coif, a lei and a straw skirt that will now give me any affirmations I want, which is so awesome, awesome in ways I can not even tell you. Now, any time I need some support or guidance I have him. And it works like a charm. Let me give you a sample.

"Hawaiian Guy (I haven't named him yet, which I'll get to in a second) I'm kind of having a fat day. Does my butt look big in these jeans?"
*Thunk, Bing-a-bing-a-bing (Hawaiian Guy's inner thoughts, which I can read) "No dahlink. Your butt looks fabulous. Now sit back and relax as I play on my ukelale. (Starts Singing) Tiiii-neey Buuuu-bles."
"Thanks Hawaiian Guy, you're awsome"
"(Sends thought finger guns my way) Any time dahlink."
And anything I want him to do, within his capability, he does. "Hawaiian Guy, do an Elvis Pelvis shake."
"You got it dahlink" *Ka-thunk-a-thunk-wing-wing-wing*

*Just for the record, I don't know why he sounds like that one Billy Crystal character either, he just does. I just didn't think a hawaiian Bobble figurine should have Barry White's voice, and that was the second runner up.

But here's the thing, I haven't decided what to name him yet, and Hawaiian guy is getting a bit irritable at me for not naming him. His previous owner said I should call him Rico, but then I started calling him Don Ho for no good reason, other than I like going "Tiii-neee Buuu-bles" and snapping my fingers any time I make him bobble. And then I started thinking of him as having the Richie-Valenz-fifties-style-man-poof, so I started calling him Richie, but then started thinking about the movie La Bamba and realized I liked calling him Lou better, but that made me sad when I realized that the last time Lou Diamond Phillips was in a movie I really enjoyed was when Reagan was still in office. So then the Tigress mentioned that he looked like Maxwell Caulfield's character during the Luau scene in Grease 2 (which I'll have to take her word for), so then I started calling him Rex Manning, which I guess has kind of stuck...

"Oh Rexy, You're sooo Sexy"
"Thank You dahlink. Smell the flowers on my lei and let me serenade you with the sounds of the island. Also, shall I hula for your amusement?"
"Yes, yes you must." *Thoink-bing-a-bing-a-bong-wing-wing-wing-shaka-shaka-shaka*

But I haven't quite settled on that yet, I feel like I should pick a name from one of those fifties beach movies, but I can't quite recall any that seem fitting, so he's still nameless or more to the point in between names (in between names? Wasn't that the name of Jordan Catelano's band when AJ was with the band but she got stage fright and couldn't remember the words to "I wanna be sedated" by the Ramones? Hawaiian Guy: "Why yes it is dahlink" *Thoink-boing-boing* "You are so smart about pop culture" "*Blushing* Gee thanks Hawaiian Guy. Sometimes I even surprise myself"). So please help me name him. You can vote on the names provided, or nominate a new name entirely in the comments.


Tiger Lady T said...

Well, the Annette/Frankie Beach Party movies were from the early 60's and they still wore their hair like this little guy.

There is always the Big Kahuna.

The Bloody Munchkin said...

I was thinking of Frankie Avalon, but then I couldn't remember his name, so thaen I started thinking it was rickie, and my hawaiian dude is NOT a Rickie. I have to say, the Big Kahuna, not a bad idea...

Xanthia said...

He looks like a tanned version of smiling Bob from the Enzyte commercial and he is aimed to please. I say you name him Bob.

The Bloody Munchkin said...

Dude, that is so wrong on so many levels, not the least of which is the fact that I went on a Star Jones Level Tirade about Smiling Bob from the enzyte commercials just last night. Smiling Bob reminds me of the Blackhole Sun video Soundgarden did back in the day, all scary smiling faces and crap. Ugh, creepy. Sorry, Smiling Bob is vetoed due to bad associations... Nice try...