Thursday, October 27, 2005

Screw you weather!!

I understand that living in the bay area, I have no legitimate reason for disliking the weather in this area. It's not harsh, it doesn't drive me insane with humidity or hot weather, or cold weather or anything like that, so I should totally shut up. And actually I really do like our weather 3/4 of the year, it provides sunny days for a big chunk of the year, creates enough wind for me to pursue my hobby and is generally agreeable. But I do have a beef with it nonetheless, albeit a very petty one.

Around this time of year, all the way to about March, I have weather-related sartorial ennoi so bad that it often takes a Limited shopping spree and a new pair of boots to deal with. Let me explain. Round this time of year, the weather just fucks with me, mostly because I think it can. So, for those of you not living in Silicon Valley area, the whole area contains probably 5 or 6 different micro-climates within like a 60 mile radius. I live in one, and work in another. Which wouldn't be a big deal if said micro-climates decided to play nice and align their weather patterns in some sort of simbiosis. But there seems to be some sort of sibling rivelry involved that renders my whole wardrobe useless some days.

So in the mornings I wake up and look up at the sky light in our master bedroom (which having one of those can be a blessing and a curse sometimes. On full moons, I might as well be throwing a candle-lit garden party in my bedroom rather than trying to sleep because the moon has illuminated everthing and refuses to go away and hide in a cloud somewhere. It's annoying.) and try to gauge at what the weather will do for the day. At this time of year, it's usually a fog so dense that I don't think it'll clear out for the rest of the day. So I go with a turtleneck, because I'm naturally cold throughout the day, I might as well be proactive for the rest of the day. What does the weather decide to do? It clears up and heats up just a little bit so my turtleneck becomes a cable-knit oven, the better to draw out my sweat and trap it there. Thanks Weather.
The weather, I'm convinced, also has a field day with my hair. Usually, when it starts in on the monsoon season around here I just put it back in a pony-tail, because what's the point of blow drying my hair when it's going to get wet in an hour, then dried out and frizzed out to standard poodle proportions when I get to work? Yesterday though, I thought I had a bi so I let it down and blow-dried it. What does the weather decide to do? Well other than wreak havoc on my sinuses and give me a low-grade pressure headache? It rains and makes my hair look like an Afro humped by a minituare poodle with a sneezing fit while being drug behind farming machinery picking up cotton balls. Except with highlights.

Part of the problem is that when I get to work, the inside of my office is a totally different temperature than the environment I just left, which leaves me a bit confused, and frizzed to say the least. When I get into the office in the morning, the temperature in the office has alternated between meatlocker and sauna almost every other day. And it decides to change throughout the day in much the same way. I come in the office in turtleneck, I grab some coffee wearing a parka, I finish the day in a tank top (or I would if I had such things lying in my cube). My hair goes through somewhat of the same process through the day. It starts out all cute and sleak and proper, it get droopy around lunch, then frizzes out and end the day, lanky and limp but also frizzy. It's so much fun.

You think after 5 years of living here and a year and half of working in the same office, I'd have figured this out by now. You'd also think that by working for a company that makes freaking weather stations, for crying out loud, I'd have a better grasp out of all this crap. But I do not. I'm still just as mystified as ever. Although, this might help...

So now, Fighting Nun, you should have some idea as to why it is that I look longingly in my closet and complain that I have nothing to wear. It's because weather is foiling my best efforts to look presentable on an almost hourly basis. It should make sense now.

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