Thursday, June 22, 2006

Twelve Things I Realized After Seeing X-Men III

  1. I'm impossibly slow on the uptake. Like impossibly slow. I don't want to ruin it for everybody, but the scene? At the end of the credits? Lost me for a good five minutes until?

    Bloody Munchkin: Huh? I don't get it.
    Fighting Nun: Because the guy, in that one scene!
    Bloody Munchkin: What do you mean?
    Fighting Nun: *Whispers in ear*
    Bloody Munchkin: Really?
    Fighting Nun: *Rolls Eyes* Yes really!
    Bloody Munchkin: Dude! Dude! That like... Whoa.
  2. Out of all the hairstyles they could've given Aaron Stanford, they chose the absolutely worst one for his face. The bad peroxide job? The bad cross between "The Spike" and a pompedor? Not working for him. He was so cute in Tadpole. He deserved better than that. So did his hair.
  3. The Kid? Still freaks me out. I caught a snippet of Birth on cable the other day, and I just shuddered the whole time. I mean seriously. I can't put my finger on why, but he's just freaky, and he seems to chose roles meant to freak me out. In fact I'm gonna go as far as saying he should've gotten the part in The Omen. He was robbed! Also, *shudder*.
  4. I can't divorce Ben Foster from his role in Six Feet Under. I like Ben Foster. I even sat through the atrocious teen movie he did with Kiersten Dunst. I cringed when they removed all his piercings in The Punisher. So it saddens me to say that I still see him as the namby-pamby ineffectual, getting-it-on-with-his-teacher bisexual. Sorry Ben, you deserve better. I'll try and work on that. Also, you needed more work in this movie... Also, also, what is with the hair? Talk about Pompedor...
  5. I seem to love movies where I can go, "Ooh, ooh, ooh, It's that guy!" and I can place exactly what else he's been in, or even name him. It's one of my few talents in life.
  6. "Don't you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut bitch!"Might just become the new line I use in traffic. I've been using "Sack Up Ho" with wild abandon in traffic, so it's time to add to my repetoire of phrases to use in traffic, right alongside "On Your SIDE, Snore-y Feldman" (long story) and "Get Behind me Satan!"
  7. Arclight is probably the most androgynous person I have ever seen in a movie ever. Like, not since looking at a picture of the lead singer from AFI has the "Is it a really affeminate boy or a really ugly-mannish looking girl?" quandry been so hard to solve. Like seriously.
  8. So you've just been electrified by a combination of lightening and falling backward on a generator. Apparantly the thing that sizzles most, if not the only thing on your persons that sizzles, is your chin piercing. Not your hair. Not your skin, or your clothes. Just you chin piercing. Apparantly all those informative lectures that I had to sit through when I was growing by the power company were wrong. Interesting.
  9. Dude, Mystique's character lasted a totally of like five minutes in this movie. I did not see that one coming.
  10. The scene with the younger Magneto and younger Xavier? Really bad make-up job yo. I mean seriously. Like scary with the de-age-ifying. Ian McKellen does not unage well is what I'm saying.
  11. Can I just say, that if you insist on putting a memorial up in the front lawn of all the members you lost, you're gonna run out of room in your lawn quick. Why couldn't you just put an urn up on the fireplace like any other self-respecting, God-fearing family.
  12. Wolverine and The Beast are still battling it out in my brain for who has the best hairstyle. I'm saying, the blue? Good look for Kelsey.

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